More housekeeping :)..and thoughts on the end of Dry January

Yikes.  The ALL CAPS post, eek.  Won't try to post from my i-pad again, at least for a while.  Just looked at how to change from Blogger to Wordpress and it was a bit overwhelming.  I think I will just have to master Blogger at least for a little while.

Well, otherwise all good here.  And while I am not diligently counting days, I am aware that today is Day 30.  Feels good to have tucked that first month under my belt.  Really the blink of an eye, in so many ways, but I also know that just a day (especially the first few days) of not drinking is pretty challenging for those of us who have been overdrinking, or who know we have a problem with alchohol or who just have question as to whether it's taking up more space in our lives than it deserves.  

I KNOW that no alcohol in my life is what I need and want, and what is best for me, my kids and my work.  And I resolved all doubts about 'moderating' in my extended relapse, so I am mercifully ree of those lingering doubts.  Which is a bit of a silver lining for that 'lost year', I suppose.  It is what it is, if there's something good to take away from it, great.  But I don't need to try that again.  Happy to know that and be accepting of it today.

I understand a bunch of folks in the UK probably 'celebrated' the end of Dry January over the weekend; there are plenty of folks in the US who 'took the pledge' as a New Year's resolution and a bunch of them ended that over the weekend, either on general principle or as part of participating in Super Bowl festivities.  If you are one of those who picked up at the end of a month of abstinence, how do you feel now?  Do you want to keep drinking or do you regret doing it?  

When I picked up my first drink after 2.5 years, I was mixed up about it.  On the one hand, I was like 'yay, I finally shut that wolf up and it feels good' and (more weightily/darkly) on the other hand, I KNEW that there was nothing good to come from starting/keeping drinking.  But since I had 'broken the seal', it was like, 'oh, well, it's been a couple of years, you weren't that bad, everyone else is doing it, you can handle a few glasses here and there, you need it to relieve stress, blah blah.'  Total BS of course.  But it took a long time, a lot of hangovers, wasted time/wasted LIFEtime, and a lot of guilt/shame/remorse to get back on the sober horse.  

I'm grateful for another chance and I intend to make the most of it.  No matter what.  I am not, NOT missing out on anything by being sober, it is just the opposite.  I didn't really believe that the first time around, but now I KNOW it.  I'm very (VERY) grateful for that - it makes this time around quite a bit easier in many respects.  I wrote a list of things I learned from relapse, but am too Blog-illiterate to insert one of those cool 'here' links.  But it is here, right here on my blog, from earlier in January.  And I can check it anytime I have questions about whether a drink is worth it.  Today I know it's not.  I hope I remember that everyday. 

Happy Sober Monday!

Hugs,

SR