Me, haha! Not the Oscar though, no drama here! Belle reminded me a couple of days ago that today is Day 50, woo hoo :). Time flies.
I can't believe it has been two weeks since I last posted! I have been just crazy busy, with work, kids (sick, sports, school stuff - you name it) and just LIFE. Work is showing no signs of letting up - in fact, it is one big stressfest/slog for the next two weeks. I'm hoping for no unanticipated crises...
Anyway, I feel like I've been absent because I haven't been posting, or commenting much or emailing/texting with the handful of ladies I talk off-line with. The last few weeks, I really haven't 'stopped' until after 8 pm, at which point I've collapsed on the couch with TV and my i-pad; I have skimmed over most of the blogs, but the i-pad is awful for commenting (pretty much limits me to Blogger, and even then it's cumbersome).
But I haven't really been absent, I've just been present in life. VERY present. In a way that is not possible without sobriety. I'm grateful for that. Things are just So.More.Manageable. And way less bumpy/dramatic. Not to mention physical well-being: good sleep, better skin, clear eyes & all that good stuff. It's so simple and so hard to grasp when you are looking at it through the bottom of a wineglass.
Anyway, life is good. I am very excited to start my personal, in-house Oscars coverage in about an hour. It's the one night of the year that I get total and exclusive control over the TV remote, and I love it. The movie themed menu includes grilled cheeese and tomato soup (Boyhood) and chess pie (Selma). Can't wait!
And we all deserve an award, right? I think so! Be good to you.
Hugs,
SR
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Sunday Report
Well, the wedding was fine. A bit boring, but they had plenty of tonic and I did gorge on the appies - which was good, because the buffet dinner was a bit lackluster. Mr. SR got a new perspective since HE had to go AF owing to his meds, that was interesting, plus it made the early exit a breeze. Small gifts. Further to my wardrobe shortcomings, and also a reminder of the previous drunk wedding attendance, I took my 'party shoes' out to leave last night and realized that both heels had been irreparably damaged at the last wear - obviously came home so sloppy that I didn't even know. Gah! Luckily I had a spare pair which weren't even that uncomfortable...another small gift. The BIG gift was coming home sober and waking up unhungover :).
Looking forward to a nice sober Sunday - taking one of my daughters to a women's college softball game this afternoon. She loves it and I love the girlpower, plus it's a beautiful day here. Nothing not to like. We have plans to make a cake before we go - sort of a new hobby for me. I like to cook but baking is my short suit (something about the precision/patience just doesn't match up with my skill set). Not sure I really *need* to be doing a lot of baking (or, more accurately, consuming the outcomes) but it's fun and everyone likes the product. Today is a lemon pound cake, trying to perfect the recipe from an effort a few weeks ago.
I like and am grateful for ordinary Sundays with ordinary plans. It is such a refreshing counterpoint to the doomy Sunday that invariably followed the cut-loose Saturday night (as if the preceding six nights were somehow hold backs...not so much!). On those ugly Sundays, just trudging through the little chores was so exhausting...needing another weekend to recover from the weekend. Now I get to enjoy the actual weekend as a time to slow down a bit and rejuvenate. Sober life is good!
Hugs,
SR
Looking forward to a nice sober Sunday - taking one of my daughters to a women's college softball game this afternoon. She loves it and I love the girlpower, plus it's a beautiful day here. Nothing not to like. We have plans to make a cake before we go - sort of a new hobby for me. I like to cook but baking is my short suit (something about the precision/patience just doesn't match up with my skill set). Not sure I really *need* to be doing a lot of baking (or, more accurately, consuming the outcomes) but it's fun and everyone likes the product. Today is a lemon pound cake, trying to perfect the recipe from an effort a few weeks ago.
I like and am grateful for ordinary Sundays with ordinary plans. It is such a refreshing counterpoint to the doomy Sunday that invariably followed the cut-loose Saturday night (as if the preceding six nights were somehow hold backs...not so much!). On those ugly Sundays, just trudging through the little chores was so exhausting...needing another weekend to recover from the weekend. Now I get to enjoy the actual weekend as a time to slow down a bit and rejuvenate. Sober life is good!
Hugs,
SR
Saturday, February 7, 2015
There is NO Shame or Stigma in Getting, Being and Staying Sober!
None whatsoever. But there is plenty of shame and stigma in being drunk, hungover, irresponsible to our children, spouses and friends, and uncaring for ourselves.
That is all! (channeling Miranda Priestly voice and demeanor :)). Now off to the wedding, in ill-fitting out of date gown, tight shoes and carrying clutch bag borrowed from teenage daughter (decidedly NOT a Miranda Priestly look haha). With large go-cup of tonic water and my trusty i-phone (so I can read sober blogs, comments and email (sobrietyrising (at) gmail if you want to write, i'd love to hear from you!), and 110% determination to arrive home sober tonight.
Have a great sober Saturday night! And don't let anyone or anything make you feel shamed or stigmatized for choosing not to pour addictive, damaging poison into your body.
Hugs,
SR
That is all! (channeling Miranda Priestly voice and demeanor :)). Now off to the wedding, in ill-fitting out of date gown, tight shoes and carrying clutch bag borrowed from teenage daughter (decidedly NOT a Miranda Priestly look haha). With large go-cup of tonic water and my trusty i-phone (so I can read sober blogs, comments and email (sobrietyrising (at) gmail if you want to write, i'd love to hear from you!), and 110% determination to arrive home sober tonight.
Have a great sober Saturday night! And don't let anyone or anything make you feel shamed or stigmatized for choosing not to pour addictive, damaging poison into your body.
Hugs,
SR
It is what it is
Happy Sober Weekend! It's a beautiful day here - sunny and crisp cool, but no freezing in my part of the world. Kid sports are low key and I just get to putter a bit and try to catch up on some work and domestic chores/life dealing. Nice and quiet, the way I like it.
Tonight we have to go to a wedding. Mr. SR and I have reached the stage in life where you go to weddings of your friends' children, argh. This one will be glitzy and all manner of fancy booze will flow - probably trays of bubbles before the ceremony, premium call bar, high end wines, you get it. I am hoping they have a LOT of tonic water. I did enough of these types of weddings in my first sober stint to be pretty 'skilled' at it (main tip: enjoy the food, especially the cute little hors d'oeuvre, that would be missed if wedding was being treated as guzzlefest; secondary tip: do whatever it takes to get OUT after a couple of hours, don't get trapped into the wee hours, sheer torture after about 9 pm). Tonight will be extra easy because Mr. SR has been sick and is taking a formulary of meds that will preclude HIS drinking...which means he'll have limited patience for all the hoopla and the whole thing will be less than three hours. Perfect for me (well not as perfect as just skipping it and sending a gift, but that's not an option, so...).
We went to a wedding about halfway through the 'year of unpleasantness' (my extended relapse). Started with warm up wine while doing make-up, more wine in go-cups, interminably long Roman Catholic mass (no bubbles on trays before THAT service), then got to the hotel for the reception and Mr. SR thought a drink(s) in the bar was a good idea. Followed by three or four booze soaked hours at reception, which are sort of a fuzzy memory, followed by a more memorable hangover. And of course I DO remember the various snipings, rants, miscues and all the other communications snafus with Mr. SR - those were a hallmark of a good drunk, which is never fully complete without at least a measure of domestic drama.
IF I feel some delusional nostalgia for the drinking days or the wedding bubbles tonight, all I have to do is pull up that file from the drunk wedding about a year ago. I don't want or need that, and the whole thing confirmed what I already knew - booze doesn't enhance that scene for me, it makes it worse. Way worse. In a perfect world, I'd probably just skip 99% of those occasions - my sober self is a bit introverted and could do without all that, easily - but I don't live in a perfect world. So I'll go to this thing, and if I am not careful, I might see the good or even enjoy most or all of it. But I'll do it sober no matter what. It is what it is.
I'm grateful that today it doesn't feel like a sacrifice, it feels more like a blessing. I wish that perspective for anyone who's struggling with the idea that their social life 'needs' alcohol to make it work or be fun. Really, if you 'need' a drink to make it fun, do you 'need' to be there at all? I don't, but I CAN do it if I have to (like I do tonight) - and when I have a choice, the answer is probably not, I'd just as soon be home with my kids and the cats and some Netflix. I like that. A lot better than the cocktail scene and all its wreckage.
Hugs,
SR
Tonight we have to go to a wedding. Mr. SR and I have reached the stage in life where you go to weddings of your friends' children, argh. This one will be glitzy and all manner of fancy booze will flow - probably trays of bubbles before the ceremony, premium call bar, high end wines, you get it. I am hoping they have a LOT of tonic water. I did enough of these types of weddings in my first sober stint to be pretty 'skilled' at it (main tip: enjoy the food, especially the cute little hors d'oeuvre, that would be missed if wedding was being treated as guzzlefest; secondary tip: do whatever it takes to get OUT after a couple of hours, don't get trapped into the wee hours, sheer torture after about 9 pm). Tonight will be extra easy because Mr. SR has been sick and is taking a formulary of meds that will preclude HIS drinking...which means he'll have limited patience for all the hoopla and the whole thing will be less than three hours. Perfect for me (well not as perfect as just skipping it and sending a gift, but that's not an option, so...).
We went to a wedding about halfway through the 'year of unpleasantness' (my extended relapse). Started with warm up wine while doing make-up, more wine in go-cups, interminably long Roman Catholic mass (no bubbles on trays before THAT service), then got to the hotel for the reception and Mr. SR thought a drink(s) in the bar was a good idea. Followed by three or four booze soaked hours at reception, which are sort of a fuzzy memory, followed by a more memorable hangover. And of course I DO remember the various snipings, rants, miscues and all the other communications snafus with Mr. SR - those were a hallmark of a good drunk, which is never fully complete without at least a measure of domestic drama.
IF I feel some delusional nostalgia for the drinking days or the wedding bubbles tonight, all I have to do is pull up that file from the drunk wedding about a year ago. I don't want or need that, and the whole thing confirmed what I already knew - booze doesn't enhance that scene for me, it makes it worse. Way worse. In a perfect world, I'd probably just skip 99% of those occasions - my sober self is a bit introverted and could do without all that, easily - but I don't live in a perfect world. So I'll go to this thing, and if I am not careful, I might see the good or even enjoy most or all of it. But I'll do it sober no matter what. It is what it is.
I'm grateful that today it doesn't feel like a sacrifice, it feels more like a blessing. I wish that perspective for anyone who's struggling with the idea that their social life 'needs' alcohol to make it work or be fun. Really, if you 'need' a drink to make it fun, do you 'need' to be there at all? I don't, but I CAN do it if I have to (like I do tonight) - and when I have a choice, the answer is probably not, I'd just as soon be home with my kids and the cats and some Netflix. I like that. A lot better than the cocktail scene and all its wreckage.
Hugs,
SR
Monday, February 2, 2015
More housekeeping :)..and thoughts on the end of Dry January
Yikes. The ALL CAPS post, eek. Won't try to post from my i-pad again, at least for a while. Just looked at how to change from Blogger to Wordpress and it was a bit overwhelming. I think I will just have to master Blogger at least for a little while.
Well, otherwise all good here. And while I am not diligently counting days, I am aware that today is Day 30. Feels good to have tucked that first month under my belt. Really the blink of an eye, in so many ways, but I also know that just a day (especially the first few days) of not drinking is pretty challenging for those of us who have been overdrinking, or who know we have a problem with alchohol or who just have question as to whether it's taking up more space in our lives than it deserves.
I KNOW that no alcohol in my life is what I need and want, and what is best for me, my kids and my work. And I resolved all doubts about 'moderating' in my extended relapse, so I am mercifully ree of those lingering doubts. Which is a bit of a silver lining for that 'lost year', I suppose. It is what it is, if there's something good to take away from it, great. But I don't need to try that again. Happy to know that and be accepting of it today.
I understand a bunch of folks in the UK probably 'celebrated' the end of Dry January over the weekend; there are plenty of folks in the US who 'took the pledge' as a New Year's resolution and a bunch of them ended that over the weekend, either on general principle or as part of participating in Super Bowl festivities. If you are one of those who picked up at the end of a month of abstinence, how do you feel now? Do you want to keep drinking or do you regret doing it?
When I picked up my first drink after 2.5 years, I was mixed up about it. On the one hand, I was like 'yay, I finally shut that wolf up and it feels good' and (more weightily/darkly) on the other hand, I KNEW that there was nothing good to come from starting/keeping drinking. But since I had 'broken the seal', it was like, 'oh, well, it's been a couple of years, you weren't that bad, everyone else is doing it, you can handle a few glasses here and there, you need it to relieve stress, blah blah.' Total BS of course. But it took a long time, a lot of hangovers, wasted time/wasted LIFEtime, and a lot of guilt/shame/remorse to get back on the sober horse.
I'm grateful for another chance and I intend to make the most of it. No matter what. I am not, NOT missing out on anything by being sober, it is just the opposite. I didn't really believe that the first time around, but now I KNOW it. I'm very (VERY) grateful for that - it makes this time around quite a bit easier in many respects. I wrote a list of things I learned from relapse, but am too Blog-illiterate to insert one of those cool 'here' links. But it is here, right here on my blog, from earlier in January. And I can check it anytime I have questions about whether a drink is worth it. Today I know it's not. I hope I remember that everyday.
Happy Sober Monday!
Hugs,
SR
Well, otherwise all good here. And while I am not diligently counting days, I am aware that today is Day 30. Feels good to have tucked that first month under my belt. Really the blink of an eye, in so many ways, but I also know that just a day (especially the first few days) of not drinking is pretty challenging for those of us who have been overdrinking, or who know we have a problem with alchohol or who just have question as to whether it's taking up more space in our lives than it deserves.
I KNOW that no alcohol in my life is what I need and want, and what is best for me, my kids and my work. And I resolved all doubts about 'moderating' in my extended relapse, so I am mercifully ree of those lingering doubts. Which is a bit of a silver lining for that 'lost year', I suppose. It is what it is, if there's something good to take away from it, great. But I don't need to try that again. Happy to know that and be accepting of it today.
I understand a bunch of folks in the UK probably 'celebrated' the end of Dry January over the weekend; there are plenty of folks in the US who 'took the pledge' as a New Year's resolution and a bunch of them ended that over the weekend, either on general principle or as part of participating in Super Bowl festivities. If you are one of those who picked up at the end of a month of abstinence, how do you feel now? Do you want to keep drinking or do you regret doing it?
When I picked up my first drink after 2.5 years, I was mixed up about it. On the one hand, I was like 'yay, I finally shut that wolf up and it feels good' and (more weightily/darkly) on the other hand, I KNEW that there was nothing good to come from starting/keeping drinking. But since I had 'broken the seal', it was like, 'oh, well, it's been a couple of years, you weren't that bad, everyone else is doing it, you can handle a few glasses here and there, you need it to relieve stress, blah blah.' Total BS of course. But it took a long time, a lot of hangovers, wasted time/wasted LIFEtime, and a lot of guilt/shame/remorse to get back on the sober horse.
I'm grateful for another chance and I intend to make the most of it. No matter what. I am not, NOT missing out on anything by being sober, it is just the opposite. I didn't really believe that the first time around, but now I KNOW it. I'm very (VERY) grateful for that - it makes this time around quite a bit easier in many respects. I wrote a list of things I learned from relapse, but am too Blog-illiterate to insert one of those cool 'here' links. But it is here, right here on my blog, from earlier in January. And I can check it anytime I have questions about whether a drink is worth it. Today I know it's not. I hope I remember that everyday.
Happy Sober Monday!
Hugs,
SR
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Habits & housekeeping
Happy sober Sunday!! I'm happy to be away from the Super Bowl crazy - euphemism for guzzlefest. Not missing any of THAT.
They say habits take three weeks to make and to break. Not sure if that is 100% universal but it has some merit. I'm close to a month of not drinking and it got a lot more habitual 2-3 weeks out to just pour a tonic or Pellegrino without thinking about it. And I've been able to lay off the choco almonds a bit too (not altogether, no ma'am!). And when I started drinking after long term sobriety, it took about three weeks to get all the way back to where I'd left off. So there may be a kernel of truth in that 3 week theory. One thing that's absolutely true is that it gets exponentially easier to not drink each day that I don't. I'm grateful for that and hope to avoid any more day 1s Because that 2-3 weeks is not fun enough to learn what I already know: there's no 2 glasses for me. One's too many and will never be enough. So none is best and keeps me happy and healthy. I like that.
On to housekeeping. I started this blog with zero knowledge of blogging besides my extensive lurking history. Turns out Blogger is kind of a clunker, who knew? Some folks - a couplewhose blogs I am following -have emailed me to say they can't comment or have trouble getting to my blog. When I get really ambitious and motivated, I may look into switching platforms. Seems a bit daunting. In the meantime, I wonder if it would help to start in the blog by just going to www.sobrietyrising.blogspot.com? I don't know and I am regretful that I didn't start on Wordpress, but I love getting comments and communicating with my sober sisters. So i hope maybe this helps.
I don't have much else interesting to say tonight, except that I am so happy to be sober tonight, even with the world's worst head cold and the rest of the hood getting super bowl snockered! I am not missing out on ANYTHING but I am experiencing everything.
With a clear head and no hangover on the horizon.
Be good to you!
Hugs,
SR
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