Still not there. Today has been pretty productive - scheduling appointments for kids to dentist, dr, etc; got a fair amount of real work done; tidying up house post-Christmas. A glimmer of a day without the black fog of hangover - I miss those. Didn't drink a lot last night...prior hangover or tapering or both? Pretended to myself that half a bottle of wine is 'moderating' but didn't like moderating anyway. It's easier just not to start. I know this. Really I do.
One of the things that is going to be hard (again) is dealing with Mr. SR. He drinks just about daily, somewhat heavily but generally in a 'controlled' fashion - ie, he has 2 or 3 beers or glasses of wine, maybe one more, then he quits for the night. He occasionally gets a lot further ahead of that, but usually when he's out with the guys, not when he's hanging out with me/at home. But he likes having me drink with him. He never really understood why I went to AA/quit in the first place - 'you're not that bad'; 'you can just have 2 or 3 wines, right, why not?'; you get the idea. He's certainly not responsible for my problem with alcohol but he sincerely does not understand it either. And it seems like it would be lot easier if he'd be willing to just get it of the house for a month or two. He's not. I went thru that the first time around. Besides, if we took it out of the house, he'd just stop at the bar on the way home and having him come home tipsy is a bit grating, too - I remember this also from the first time around.
I have to convince myself that I can refrain from putting alcohol in my system no matter what anyone else is doing. Even if they live and sleep with me. They aren't going to pour it down my throat, I am the only one who does that.
I dread going through this part of it again. That's part of why I am putting off Day 1 until after New Year's - a convenient temporal excuse. But I appreciate having a 'bright' day today to give me a reference when I get to Day 1 in a few days. Maybe Sunday.
Until then....hoping it gets here. Figuring out how to work in Blogger :).
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